“2. The pretty, initial position … is not to be valued – except as a stimulus …”

Some thoughts to meditate on before I begin again to work on my novel: “I Brought You Back.” (These ideas never get old, but I’m still not sure I get #8.) I started and stopped working on the book around the time my friend of 17 years died in Dec. 2013. It’s the only fiction that’s come into my head as a whole, beginning with these words from the main character: “Let time go by. Let all kinds of time go by.” Everything else sprung from that, these words accompanied by an image, sound, even a tactile sensation — the thick, low vibration of tires moving down a road (not very original, I know, but …). He is going somewhere, I thought, moving away from something. I am very attached to this moment but wondering now if it could be my “pretty, initial position.” We’ll see as the “further moves” come.

“Notes to myself on beginning a painting” by Richard Diebenkorn

1. Attempt what is not certain. Certainty may or may not come later. It may then be a valuable delusion.

2. The pretty, initial position which falls short of completeness is not to be valued – except as a stimulus for further moves.

3. DO search.

4. Use and respond to the initial fresh qualities but consider them absolutely expendable.

5. Don’t “discover” a subject – of any kind.

6. Somehow don’t be bored but if you must, use it in action. Use its destructive potential.

7. Mistakes can’t be erased but they move you from your present position.

8. Keep thinking about Pollyanna.

9. Tolerate chaos.

10. Be careful only in a perverse way.

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